


Overture

by YumKiwiDelicious



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Pining Kageyama Tobio, Sad Hinata Shouyou, Shared sensations, Slow Burn, Soulmates Share Emotions, all the chapter titles are AJR songs, i love AJR
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumKiwiDelicious/pseuds/YumKiwiDelicious
Summary: “What does it mean, grandpa?” he had asked one night as the old man tucked him into bed. Kageyama Kazuyo had hummed, lowering himself slowly down onto the edge of his grandson’s bed with a quiet smile and spoke warmly of soulmates. Of how across miles and miles you could hear a song or smell a flower or taste a cherry if that’s what your soulmate was doing.||KageHina soulmates AU||
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 85





	1. The Good Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If the world gets me  
> Where I'm supposed to be  
> Will I know I've made it then?  
> It's so hard  
> Can we skip to the good part?"  
> -The Good Part, AJR

It started with music at first. Silly little songs that popped into his head while he was coloring or playing with his ball. Kageyama Tobio was seven at the time and he just figured he was creating the melodies himself; his sister had always said he had a very active imagination. It wasn’t until the songs started mentioning someone named ‘Shouyou’ that the young boy considered the tunes may be coming from somewhere, or someone, else.

“ _ Shouyou! Shouyou! I feel best with froyo! _ ”

“What does it mean, grandpa?” he had asked one night as the old man tucked him into bed. Kageyama Kazuyo had hummed, lowering himself slowly down onto the edge of his grandson’s bed with a quiet smile and spoke warmly of soulmates. Of how across miles and miles you could hear a song or smell a flower or taste a cherry if that’s what your soulmate was doing. He explained how sometimes you could hear the other person’s thoughts, or even feel their pain if they were close enough. 

It sounded...noisy to Tobio and he wondered aloud how you were supposed to tell the difference between your feelings and your soulmate’s feelings. His grandfather chuckled and assured him that as he grew, the differences would become apparent and he’d get better about quieting his other half’s thoughts. As his dark blue eyes drooped and grew sleepy, the little boy asked if his grandpa ever heard his grandma’s thoughts anymore even though she was gone. Kazuyo kissed his forehead rather than answer and then he was asleep.

As the years went by there were times when it was nice to get hints of his soulmate’s day. Tobio would be right in the middle of a foul mood when suddenly a hint of strawberry mochi would touch his tongue and he’d lick his lips enviously. A giggle would sound somewhere, the child on the other side of the connection feeling the tickle on their own mouth. He’d be hunched over his homework, frustrated with mathematics, and suddenly there’d be an upbeat song on and his body would feel light and happy.

Yes, there were good days in having a soulmate.

However, there were also bad days.

There were days where Kageyama Tobio would feel a wide, yawning sadness in his chest that left him scratching at it absently. There were moments when his clumsy other half would burn their hand or skin their knee and Kageyama would flinch and hiss and draw odd looks from his classmates. Those moments were embarrassing and he hated his soulmate on then. Because it wasn’t like many people believed him when he mumbled about a stranger somewhere else in the world falling on his face.

The theory of Sensational Projection had been argued and debunked and proven and defended and belittled about a million times over by the time Kageyama reached middle school. The people that believed in soulmates believed in them hard, defending the theory with their dying breaths in some cases. Meanwhile on the other side of the argument were the skeptics who, admittedly, had more science in their pockets. There was simply no scientific proof that two people could share emotional and physical sensations mentally across an expansive distance and, for a lot of people, that was that.

Kageyama still heard silly songs, but he stopped talking about them when he was around twelve years old. He ignored the sting in his palms some days and the way his calves and knees ached like he’d been running for miles every night. Not even his grandfather dared to ask ‘ _ How’s your soulmate today? _ ’ anymore. A soulmate he couldn’t even see wasn’t important. School was important. Winning was important. Volleyball was important. Volleyball was the most important thing in his entire life.

He got a rather nasty nickname his second year in middle school and it followed him around from game to game. They called him the King of the Court, but it wasn’t a compliment on his skills like he had originally thought it was. They were calling him a tyrant; selfish and unfeeling. Slowly, he lost all his friends and the only person he had to keep him company after practice was the cracking voice singing songs in his head. He’d realized his soulmate was a boy some time ago and it had only made everything feel worse. His grandfather died that same year.

He was more determined than ever to squash the thoughts of his other half and focus entirely on volleyball when he met the overflowing well of energy that was Hinata. Tobio was excited for his game, he always was, but there was an underlying fit of nerves that was disrupting his calm as they approached the court and he excused himself to the bathroom. After scaring off a group of underclassmen that were talking way beyond their skill, Tobio was stunned to come face to face with a little boy who had a shock of red hair. Their exchange was brief, but his assessment of the other player was concrete; he was arrogant, talentless, and no competition whatsoever.

Even the way the other boy soared through the air during the game did not change Tobio’s opinion of him, and he was ready to completely erase him from memory when that gaping sadness was back. He was walking towards their bus and he suddenly felt like crying, like letting the ground crack open beneath him and gobble him up. A sensation he hadn’t felt since Kazuyo’s funeral. He couldn’t explain the feeling and figured his soulmate must be having a really crappy day when suddenly there was a shout behind him.

“Hold it!” It was the little boy from earlier. Tears were tracking down his cheeks and his chest was heaving with stuttering breaths. “You might be the king who rules the court for now, but I’m gonna win! One day I’m gonna stay on the court for longer than you!”

Kageyama blinked in confusion, wondering where this whelp, who was barely his height from higher ground, got the nerve to say stuff like that to him. He was ready to make a biting remark in return when he felt a cool line trace down his face. He reached up absently to touch his cheek, but it was dry. His soulmate was crying somewhere, sniffling and hiccuping and feeling just awful. Tobio glanced at the redhead, in a similar state of unease, and frowned.

“Only the strong get to keep playing,” he announced, turning to face him fully. The rival player looked surprised he had bothered. “If you want to keep playing, you need to get stronger!”

Tobio left him then, not really willing to waste anymore breath on the kid. As he boarded the bus home, he felt the weight in his chest ease a fraction; his soulmate was feeling better. He continued on to his usual seat in the back all alone, ready to sleep the whole way back to school. As the bus pulled out and his eyes started to droop, he hoped absently that he’d never see Hinata again.

* * *

Finding out the annoying ball of energy was at the same highschool as him in the fall had been...annoying. Finding out his first name was Shouyou and he liked to sing obnoxious little songs to himself whenever he went to the bathroom had been...even more annoying.

Kageyama Tobio staunchly refused to believe that Hinata Shouyou, of all the spirits in the world, could be his soulmate. It was like some sick cosmic joke the ancestors had decided to play on him and everyday it got less and less funny. Everyday he had to feel the swooping rollercoaster that was an easily excitable first year boy discovering new things about his school. Everyday he had to hear a million different made up melodies that would undoubtedly be stuck in his head for hours after. Everyday he had to watch Hinata play nice and friendly with the upperclassmen and act like he didn’t feel the well of despair the ginger kept boarded up inside his chest.

It was...strange knowing that Shouyou was actually so sad all the time. His smiles were seemingly endless and his enthusiasm for volleyball never failed or waned. Yet Kageyama could feel it. Like an old scab that could heal if he would just stop picking at it, and Hinata picked at it almost every night making the wound bloodier and bloodier. Somedays it felt like the sensation would overwhelm Tobio himself, but he somehow managed to shoulder it. He noticed how sometimes Asahi or Suga would blink and wilt as if it had touched them, but then Hinata would hit a spike and the shadows would be gone from their eyes.

Yes, it was very strange.

“You know,” Nishinoya boasted one day after practice, slumped across Tanaka’s lap, “If the rest of you would just SenPro up we’d be unstoppable!”

The third years minus Asahi all snickered goodnaturedly while the reaction throughout the rest of the team varied. The rest of the second years looked annoyed with the suggestion and the first years consisted of Hinata and Yamaguchi blushing darkly while Kageyama and Tsukishima scowled. 

That Nishinoya and Tanaka were soulmates was common knowledge and the two spoke often about the types of sensations they could project back and forth. Some of the information they offered was interesting and maybe even sweet. Noya talked about how he could tell when Tanaka’s mood was about to take a dip and would try to send him happy, calm feelings and maybe fixate on a memory of him making an awesome kill. Those examples were nice to hear. Other times the two young men would describe in far too vivid detail jacking off simultaneously and the pleasure spiking between them even as they both sat in their own rooms at home. Tobio hated those stories.

“Sensational Projection isn’t even real,” Tsukishima grumbled, rolling his eyes behind those stupidly thick glasses. Kageyama glanced at the other two boys in their year and noted the way Yamaguchi seemed to fold in on himself and Hinata just looked constipated.

“To each their own, Tsukishima-kun,” Suga eased, not wanting another argument about SenPro to sour a pleasant practice. The third years’ opinions on Sensational Projection were pretty vague, but Kageyama was almost positive his captain projected with the captain of the girl’s team. And if Suga and Asahi weren’t soulmates then no one was.

“Peh.”

Tsukishima’s dismissive snort signaled the end of the day officially and they all began filtering out. Like every other day, they broke off in pairs, heading off in different directions with a teammate at their sides. Hinata and Kageyama just so happened to live in the same direction and so strolled into the night together, Shouyou’s bike rolling squeakily between them. The redhead was unusually quiet and the setter was thankful for it. It was bad enough having the shorter boy’s thoughts swimming around in his head day in and day out, but on top of that Hinata was a chatterbox. Still, he could feel the gnawing tickle in his chest that signaled his soulmate’s unease and knew a question was coming.

“So, uh,” he finally stammered right at the corner where they parted ways. Kageyama fixed him with a flat look. “Do you...do you believe in it? S-Soulmates?”

The blue eyed teen thought of stinging palms and aching knees and a bubbling laughter that he had to constantly swallow up throughout the day. He also thought of crushing loneliness and the constant feeling of being adrift and sighed. He looked off into the distance, not really caring for looking directly into Shouyou’s eyes when they were this close lest he should suddenly catch on.

“Dunno,” he replied with a shrug, “Seems kind of…”

He let the sentence die and felt something die within the other boy as well while his wild head of hair dipped and nodded. “Yeah,” Hinata mumbled, “Yeah me too.”

* * *

“How’s your soulmate today?”

Kageyama had told his sister about Shouyou as soon as he’d realized it because he had just been so angry. He regretted the decision now when that question greeted him as soon as he got home each day. He left his shoes by the door and peeled off his club jacket as he passed by the kitchen. His sister was reading at the table, short hair pushed back from her face.

“Fine.”

“Are you ever going to bring him over?”

“Nope.”

When he flung himself down into bed he groaned, body and brain completely worn out from another day of keeping in close proximity with the overly emotional mess that was his soulmate. If he concentrated enough, face buried in his pillow to block out external influence, he could feel cool tears slipping down Hinata’s cheeks. He let him cry alone for some time, not knowing how to send good vibes or whatever Tanaka called them. Eventually there was a phantom hand on his back and he was being pulled into a hug by Shouyou’s mother.

It was so warm. 

* * *

Kageyama had always loved volleyball -the thrill of competition, the exhilaration that came with mastering a new technique - but Hinata’s influence made it even better. If Tobio loved volleyball then Shouyou  _ worshipped  _ volleyball. The pure and unfiltered joy he felt whenever he stepped out onto a court, the way he always smelled Air Salonpas; it made Kageyama feel like he was playing for the first time all over again. He was a little stunned the ginger had not realized he was projecting to someone standing just a few feet in front of him, but if the taller boy's bad mood and brittle spirit ever entered his mind, Hinata completely ignored it. He seemed determined to make volleyball the only thought in his mind, the only thing that held back the sadness.

It never really worked.

* * *

“Well, not every set of projectors is going to be the same,” Yachi mused, “Every pair is different!”

Kageyama frowned as he found his seat beside Hinata, the two of them settling in for another lunch study session with the blonde first year across from them. ‘Projectors’ was a very clinical word for two people that shared sensations between each other. The setter figured Yachi Hitoka seemed like a very clinical person herself, probably believing in soulmates in theory, but not buying into it fully since her mind was likely too busy and loud to spot another person’s thoughts.

“Hm,” Hinata hummed in reply, not bothering to recount the conversation so far for his teammate, “I suppose that’s true. I just never would have guessed Takeda and Ono-sensei were soulmates because they’re so different from Tanaka and Noya.”

“And each other,” Tobio grumbled, unraveling his bento as he tried to process this new information. He would never have guessed the two faculty members were a pair either, more so because they hardly seemed to acknowledge each other rather than they weren’t loud and obnoxious about the bond like the second years.

Yachi shrugged innocently, pulling out her neat and tidy notes so they could begin studying.

* * *

Someone in Hinata’s third period was wearing way too much perfume and it was giving him a headache which meant it was giving Kageyama a headache. He’d learned over the years the smells and sounds and sensations that made the shorter boy’s stomach turn or left his mouth watering. Hinata loved pork. Hinata hated albacore. He enjoyed raisin cookies, but not raisins all alone. He was not a fan of sand between his toes, but liked it when his mom would stroke his hair gently after a crying fit.

Kageyama wondered sometimes, standing in front of the vending machine, if Hinata had developed a taste for milk and cream the way he himself had developed one for pork buns. He wondered if anything he ate during the day gave Shouyou stomach aches. He supposed he’d feel it if they did. He thought about whether or not Hinata would like the smell of his new shampoo and stood in the toiletry aisle for long stretching minutes trying to just ignore the way Hinata’s shampoo smelled like oranges and pick something  _ he  _ liked.

It never really worked.

* * *

Tobio liked to practice a lot and he could do it alone just as well as with someone else. Days when Hinata needed to hurry home, he would set against the wall for what felt like hours and not get bored or lonely. Still, days when someone stayed were interesting, at least. Tanaka and Noya were not setters by any means, but they sort of completed the whole sequence Kageyama was part of. Noya would throw the ball, Kageyama would set it, Tanaka would spike it, and Noya would already be on the other side of the net attempting to dig it up. Then they’d start again. It was nice.

"Hey,” The dark haired teen muttered one day between sets, “Can I ask you guys something? It's, uh...personal."

"Ha!" Tanaka bellowed, hands on his hips and chest puffed out exaggeratedly. "Everyone does eventually, bro! Go ahead and hit us with the nitty gritty!"

Nishinoya rushed under the net, eyes alight as he danced from foot to foot beside his soulmate. "Please tell me this is a sex question and not something boring like...how does it feel when he takes a shit," he gushed.

Kageyama blushed all the way up to his roots, but shook his head. "No, I want to know how it works on the court. Using your..." he motioned back and forth between them, "For plays." 

Tanaka scratched at his head, wolfish smile dulled some as he shrugged. “Eh, it’s pretty sporadic,” he admitted. “Like, it’s awesome when it pops up during a game, but we can’t, like...make it happen.”

“Yeah, no, not on purpose,” Noya agreed, sounding annoyed with the fact. ”I fucking  _ wish  _ we could turn it on and off whenever we wanted!”

“That’d be so sweet!” his soulmate boomed, eyes aflame. “There’s nothing like when one of my spikes gets blocked, but I can  _ feel  _ Noya about to dig it up from right behind me!”

They laughed and slapped at each other and Kageyama was ready to excuse the whole thing when suddenly Noya blinked and grew serious. His mouth didn't fall into a frown, Nishinoya Yu didn’t frown, but it got straight and thin and he stared right through their setter. “Sometimes though...you’re riding high on a projection loop and then-  _ poof _ ! It’s gone.”

Tanaka shivered and slid a hand around his partner’s waist, digging his chin into the shorter boy's hair. “Yeah,” he agreed, “That’s the worst.”

"Right," Kageyama acquiesced, not sure how he felt about seeing them actually discuss a  _ downside  _ of the connection. “I’ll...catch you guys tomorrow." He fled to the club room and changed quickly, berating himself for even asking such a stupid question. He wasn’t going to acknowledge his connection to Hinata and that was that.


	2. Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They call me after dark, I don't want no part  
> My habits, they hold me like a grudge  
> I promise I won't budge"  
> -Weak, AJR

Hinata started drinking a salted caramel latte every morning as soon as the temperature dipped and the sweetness made Kageyama feel sick. As soon as he woke up every morning he could feel the craving building in the other boy’s belly and as he walked to school, bundled up against the breeze, he felt the burn on his tongue and wondered if Shouyou knew caffeine could stunt his growth. The taste would linger through his morning classes until he had time to get to the vending machine and then he got to wash it away with a sigh. It was astounding that someone as energetic as their team’s decoy could need coffee in the morning, but then Tobio thought about the long nights where he was kept up by the ginger’s depressing nightmares and he had to shrug it off.

Hinata brought him a cup one morning, just barely losing their daily race to the gym in his attempt to not spill the hot drinks down his front. He held it out to Kageyama with a mumbled excuse about the barista messing up his first order and making his second free.

“This one has cinnamon,” he explained as the taller boy took the cup a bit dazedly, “I hate cinnamon.”

Kageyama knew that.

He held the cup awkwardly, not liking the way Hinata watched the side of his face with an expectant expression. He didn’t want to risk sipping at the cinnamon and then Shouyou gagging on the taste before realizing in a flurry of over exaggerated shock that he and Kageyama were soulmates. So instead, the setter merely pressed his lips to the brim and tilted the paper cup back and forth in the mime of drinking. Hinata seemed happy with this and returned attention to his own hot drink that he guzzled greedily. Tobio frowned at the kick of caramel at the back of his throat.

They had ended up spending a lot of time together once they were accepted fully into the volleyball club. There was practice and  _ extra  _ practice and practice games and  _ actual  _ games and bus rides and tournaments and it was just a lot. Kageyama saw Hinata literally all the time and then got to retreat to his house only to listen to the other boy’s rambling train of thought until sleep finally took him. 

His initial assessment of soulmates had been right all along.

It was so loud.

Not just audibly, but emotionally; Hinata was a very loud emoter. When he was happy he was ecstatic and when he was scared he was absolutely petrified. That Kageyama had managed to not also puke when the redhead purged into Tanaka’s lap during that first game was a miracle. The moment Shouyou felt any sort of way, Tobio knew and he had begun to do whatever small things were in his power to avoid the shorter boy feeling bad. Because then he felt bad and because...he didn’t necessarily  _ like  _ seeing his soulmate in sour moods.

So on mornings when the taste of salted caramel didn't flood his senses and he could feel the cool wind whipping against Hinata’s face as he ran late to school, he would pick up a cup of the steaming beverage for his teammate. He’d pass it to him casually, complaining gruffly about them forgetting the cinnamon again and would get to feel the emotional and physical warmth of the ginger taking that blessed, cursed, first sip. When he felt Shouyou’s stomach grumbling in the middle of morning classes, he would rush to get a pork bun at the top of lunch and return sweaty and panting to toss it at his desk, claiming his sister had packed it even though she knew he didn’t like them. Hinata would swoon and flail and scarf down the meat with a happy hum running through his whole body.

Yes, Tobio did whatever he could to keep Shouyou happy.

But it was never enough.

* * *

When they had lost against Aoba Johsai in the third round, Kageyama had to clutch at his chest because it had felt like Hinata was going to  _ die _ . The ginger had been so torn up inside it was amazing there was anything left of him to stand there and scream at Tobio to not be sorry. To not make passing to him sound like a mistake. Kageyama had swallowed the rest of his apology down into a belly that was already full to bursting with his soulmate’s regret. 

When coach had treated them to dinner, it had only made the stone in Kageyama’s gut feel heavier, but he still ate. Hinata had sat at his side, crying and shoveling food into his mouth simultaneously, shoulders stiff with anger that made Tobio’s face feel hot. Their shared tantrum in the gym the next day, Kageyama was sure, had been the two of them projecting that anger back and forth in a tight loop that had given them no true release.

“I wanna win!”

“I won't apologize ever again,” Tobio had promised him, slouching down from his spot flung against the wall. They had both been shaking and sweating and the setter could feel the burn in the decoy’s hands from grabbing the bars. “I’ll never make a toss I need to apologize for ever again!”

Hinata had nodded, believing him because he had to, and Kageyama felt a tight coil in his chest as the shorter boy pushed himself up with a determined scowl. “Only the strong…”

“Stay on the court!”

“There’s no time to stand still!”

* * *

Kageyama thought it might not all be due to Hinata; the way he suddenly felt alive again. Being part of a team, having friends, having people he could depend on as he hadn’t since his grandfather died was...something. His sister noticed the change in him and would often drape herself across his lap teasingly. She’d pinch his cheek and poke at his belly and ask just what exactly had his soulmate done that day to make him look so not-scary. But it wasn’t all Hinata. Miwa knew that and Tobio could see the way his sister would tuck her smile back behind a smirk when she left him, just happy he was happy.

* * *

He was humming over his study materials, something that Hinata had had stuck in his head all afternoon, and suddenly Tanaka bumped their elbows together. 

“Dude,” the second year teased, “I had no idea you liked American pop!”

“I don’t,” Kageyama deadpanned only for his teammates immediately surrounding him to scoff and snort in derision, even Tsukishima casting him an exasperated look that spoke of being bored with the lies. “I really don’t.”

“But you’re humming ‘ _ We Are Young _ ’,” Nishinoya pointed out, looking as tickled as his shaved head boyfriend at the observation. “That song’s  _ super  _ popular in America right now!”

“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His continued denial of knowing the song led to a full on halt to studying and suddenly they were all crowded around him, Noya’s phone in his lap, playing a music video that showed a small concert apparently devolving into a riot. Kageyama still only shrugged, recognizing the tune from Hinata’s head, but clearly not knowing the lyrics and never having heard of the band. Tanaka asked incredulously how he could hum the tune then and the setter just said it popped into his head at random. Suddenly the team’s right wing spiker and libero were staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers.

"Dude!" Tanaka enthused, practically shaking Noya’s head off as they both smiled, “You’re projecting!”

Kageyama blinked, pointedly avoiding glancing at Hinata who had remained tucked into the corner with a book in front of his face when they all started discussing the song. Noya waved his hands in front of him excitedly.

“More like someone’s projecting to  _ you _ !” he corrected, eyes looking almost demonic in their excitement. “Who is it? Can you tell? Is she cute?”

“How would I know?” Tobio huffed at the same time Tsukishima groaned, “Not this again.”

“Alright, settle down you guys,” Daichi cut in, though he looked extremely interested in the proceedings as well. “Leave Kageyama alone and get back to work.”

The second years grumbled irrately, continuing to shoot their setter sly little thumbs up while he tried to refocus on his work. Kageyama eventually got tired of it and relocated near the door beside Shouyou. The ginger was focused so intensely on his book that it would have worked to fool the taller boy had his book not been upside down. He took a seat close enough so that their elbows brushed and noticed the way a sheen of sweat had gathered near the decoy’s hairline. He went back to his studying.

“Is it...is it your first time?” Hinata whispered when everyone had moved on. Tobio caught him in a side eyed stare, but the shorter teen didn’t meet his gaze. “Getting a projection from someone?”

The former King of the Court debated what he should say. On one hand, he had been aggressively avoiding the fact that Hinata Shouyou was his soulmate for quite a while and wanted to keep it that way. On the other hand there was a sort of...peace that came with knowing who was on the other end of the connection. There was no need to spend years wandering and wondering if he would ever find his other half and he thought maybe...Hinata wanted that sort of peace too.

“No,” he admitted, dropping his eyes back to his English notes. “My soulmate seems to like music...and pork buns.”

In a flurry, Shouyou was standing, books and papers scattering down all around him as he upended his study position. The whole team looked up at him confusedly because he was kind of causing a racket, but the ginger didn’t seem to notice. His eyes were growing wet and shiny and his bottom lip was snug between his teeth. Kageyama blinked as a sticky despair started to drip into his stomach, pooling like tar in the bottom of his gut. A few of the other guys also looked suddenly stricken and then Shouyou was grabbing his bag in a hurry.

“I have to go,” he rushed, not even bothering to gather his study materials as he fled the room. They all watched him go, Suga and Asahi muttering hopes that he was feeling alright. Kageyama fought the urge to run after him and instead slumped down further behind his own book.

Clearly Hinata wasn’t feeling very peaceful.

* * *

Kageyama walked home in a huff, club jacket thrown over his shoulder. Usually Hinata would have been at his side, but the decoy had not reappeared after his sudden exit. The pool of shock and dismay had drained a bit and he was glad Shouyou was feeling better. He hadn’t known the ginger would react so...violently to the small hint they were soulmates. Obviously he had to have an inkling during the conversation about the song, he had been singing it in his head all morning, English lyrics mangled and wrong. Still, the tiny detail about pork buns had seemed to really throw him and Kageyama felt bad for starling him like that. He knew first hand what it felt like to start suspecting the annoying teammate you had sworn to defeat someday may be your one and only.

He had been dealing with it for months and it was fine, Kageyama was fine. It was crazy to think about some days; completely smothering to the brain and senses on others, but so were a lot of things. Even volleyball had its unavoidable ups and downs and Tobio had always gone along with those rather well. Especially now at Karasuno where he actually liked and respected his teammates, he had to adjust to each of them and the situations they created with very little time to make a conscious decision about it. Accepting that Hinata was projecting onto him practically twenty-four seven hadn’t been a conscious decision, it had just happened and it was fine.

Kageyama walked down the long hill directly beside their school, passing Sakanoshita Store and considered briefly picking up a pork bun. If he ate it, Hinata could taste it second hand maybe that would cheer him up quicker. Or maybe it would just freak him out.

The one thing Tobio couldn’t reason was the way his connection with Shouyou felt compared to the way others described the sensations. According to Noya and Tanaka they couldn’t feel each other all the time. Only briefly, in stops and starts, would they catch a strange string of consciousness or a trickle of pleasure down their spine. Kageyama felt like he could  _ always  _ feel what Hinata was doing from the moment he woke up in the morning and when the ginger fell asleep at night, things would grow quiet and lonely and Kageyama would rush to follow not soon after to escape the feeling. 

Was Hinata feeling him all the time too? 

If not, why?

The first year just wanted to get home, not still be within shouting distance of the school and walking all alone. At home Miwa would be there to tease and taunt him, but at least it would be a distraction from his busy thoughts and the clammy feeling coming from his soulmate’s hands. 

Hinata was wringing his hands and standing at the corner where they usually parted ways. Kageyama blinked, not positive he wasn’t imagining the boy there at first before he approached. The decoy’s head whipped around to him and Tobio felt the flutter of excitement and apprehension that sang through his chest. Shouyou always got a little happy when he looked at Kageyama. It made the setter feel...lucky.

"H-Hey!" he greeted, bike leant against the wall behind him. He’d been waiting. "Sorry about running off like that."

"Did I make you uncomfortable?” Kageyama asked, ready to cut to the chase if Hinata was. The ginger shook his head though, cheeks pink and voice tiny.

“N-No,” he murmured, scratching at his temple idly. “It’s...cool, you can feel projections.”

Kageyama blinked at the odd phrasing and then, “...Can you not?”

“It’s complicated!”

They stood in an awkward silence, neither of them moving to head in the direction of their respective homes. Kageyama wondered what exactly the other boy meant by saying it was complicated. Could he feel Tobio’s sensations or not? Silence stretched out between them and finally with a halted wave, Hinata left.

* * *

The thing was, Kageyama really liked Hinata. Beneath the rivalry, which he was still very much committed to, Shouyou was a good teammate and not the most annoying person in the world as Tobio had originally thought. Nothing explicit had happened between to signal the end of their friendly dynamic, but Kageyama thought maybe he could feel it. Feel that the two of them were both considering being more than frenemies. Perhaps they could be frenemies that were mutually attracted to each other. Frenemies that maybe touched sometimes outside of the volleyball court. The thought made Kageyama’s fingertips tingle and he wondered if Hinata could feel it.

None of the worst case scenarios in Kageyama’s mind seemed very realistic, or likely. He couldn’t imagine Shouyou recoiling in disgust, or beginning to avoid him. Hell would freeze over before the ginger even considered quitting volleyball, and neither of them would ever risk the dynamic of the team. However, there was a whole second string of outcomes that weren’t very desirable either. Hinata feeling obligated to be with Kageyama. Hinata being his usual, overly excited self and clinging to the spark between them like it was the only thing that mattered. 

Kageyama was obviously going to tell him outright eventually, but he figured a little more time for Shouyou to adjust to the idea on his own couldn’t hurt.

* * *

Kageyama had felt the spark of interest shoot through him the first time he and Hinata met Ushijima Wakatoshi. Nothing sexual, Shouyou’s mind was still too innocent for such thoughts, but there had been a type of awe that filled him up. The ginger had been envious and impressed with Shiratorizawa’s ace and wanted to be like him. To best him. Tobio could say he felt somewhat similar, but to feel the sensation rolling off his soulmate had been upsetting and he hadn’t really cared for it. The only person he wanted Hinata openly admiring was him. The feeling had died and withered as soon as Ushijima implied their team was a slab of barren concrete, but Kageyama wouldn’t forget it soon.

It was strange now, knowing Hinata couldn’t sense his feelings. Kageyama didn’t hesitate to let pride swell his chest as the tiny decoy had declared he would be going to nationals after beating Ushijima personally. He hadn’t had to stifle his reactions to different situations just to avoid Hinata catching some of his feedback. He had been free to flail and panic when the topic of exams came up and heave a sincere sigh of relief when they passed. He was free to feel and emote whatever he wanted because apparently Shouyou received none of it.

It was freeing, but also annoying because...why couldn’t he feel it? All through their makeup test and during the heart stopping drive to Tokyo, Kageyama tried to subtly project thoughts and emotions onto Hinata. He fixated on blueberries to try and spark a craving, he recalled their loss to Oikawa to see if he inspired a frown, but nothing seemed to work. Shouyou just kept his eyes forward, gripping tightly at his seat, and projected a steady flow of excitement and determination to Tobio there in the backseat.

The practice sets they actually made it to were disappointing and Kageyama’s whole perspective of the trip was darkening the longer the day wore on. The setter was glad when it was finally night and they could rest up to hopefully bring more grace to the games the following day. He was washing his hand in the bathroom and thinking about Hinata when Nekoma’s captain and middle blocker strolled in. Kuroo Tetsurou.

The two were talking in dry but civil tones about the sleep away camp when suddenly the Scheming Captain’s arm jerked back. The two dark haired teens blinked in confusion and then Kuroo let out a low, throaty laugh.

“Kenma bumped his elbow on something,” he snickered, flexing his arm experimentally, an uncharacteristically warm smile gracing his face. “He hates when that happens.”

He was gone within the next moment, likely to check on his other half, and Kageyama was left to wonder how everyone’s soulmate could feel their presence but his.


	3. Sober Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My favorite color is you  
> You're vibrating out my frequency  
> My favorite color is you  
> You keep me young and that's how I wanna be"  
> -Sober Up, AJR

Kageyama was still a little freaked out the next morning when he woke up in Tokyo and his first thought was immediately about Hinata not being able to sense their connection. What could that mean? Was something wrong with one of them? Or...was Shouyou Tobio’s soulmate, but Tobio wasn’t his? Was that a thing; one sided sensational projections? That sounded so...lonely.

He laid awake on his bedroll for an immeasurable amount of time before Daichi’s alarm started blaring, making the whole team groan and grumble as one massive entity. Shouyou was tucked neatly away under his blankets beside Kageyama, his bright hair looking like a confusingly soft puff of fire from beneath the sheets. Tobio watched the lump beneath the blankets stir and twist, feeling the sleepy awareness that was Hinata waking up tickling the back of his mind. The setter always felt a little fuzzy when his soulmate slept.

The day began much like the one previously had ended. Nekoma was on their guard against quicks and Kageyama could feel the frustration growing within Shouyou’s chest the longer they went without making a point. The shorter boy was intrigued by the team as a whole and the new boy Lev in particular. Tobio tried to redirect his energy, shouting at his soulmate even more than usual, but the ginger was hyper focused on playing the game his way.

It all came to a head when Hinata ran into Asahi trying to reach a ball meant for the ace. Kageyama saw the hit coming and his whole body seized up in preparation for the blow he would no doubt feel, but also with fear for Shouyou. Asahi was so much bigger than him. The ace was barely thrown off course when the two of them finally collided in the air, but the ginger was flung down to the court floor, skidding along on his back. Everyone went silent in shock and then…

“Hinata!?”

“I’m so sorry!”

“What were you thinking?!”

“Calm down, everyone’s fine!”

It was a mess of voices and Tobio’s heart jack hammered in his chest from watching his other half be swatted from the air like a fly, but also because he could feel the overwhelming guilt and embarrassment that flooded Shouyou in that moment. He’d been so focused on touching the ball that he hadn’t realized it wasn’t meant for him; hadn’t bothered to call it or anything. In that moment, in Hinata’s mind at least, he had been the only one on the court and he had wanted to claim the glory and the point for himself. It was dangerous, and it had cost them, and Kageyama knew the feeling all too well.

This was not good.

Hinata suggesting he would start keeping his eyes open for their quick attacks only strengthened this belief and Tobio felt his anger festering and bubbling over at the shorter teen. It wasn’t enough that Shouyou had to invade his every waking moment with his benal thoughts and feelings, but now he wanted to ruin volleyball too? The setter couldn’t even be positive about what he said in response to his soulmate, only that it was harsh and angry. The rest of the game was a wash and before too long he was diving around the gym on his stomach, the ache twice as bad as Shouyou threw himself into every dive.

The conversation that followed was no better. Kageyama missed the bubbles of nice feelings and attachment Shouyou usually projected to him during their talks. Instead, he could feel a hot well of anger and betrayal in Hinata’s chest. It made him feel bad, but he would not toss to someone he knew would miss. They lost the next game even without the overzealous ginger on the court and Tobio was honestly ready to just pack it up and go home. The bus ride back to Karasuno was quiet and lonely, Hinata’s thoughts abuzz with regrets.

The fight.

The fight with Shouyou was the worst thing Kageyama had ever experienced. 

Not only was it physically grueling alone, but the feedback from his punches landing on the smaller boy rocked through his body and made him feel shaky and weak. He could feel Hinata’s fury like a fever flushing all over his body and he fought back against it, shoving and tossing his soulmate about hoping he would just hit his head. Knock something loose so he could finally feel what Kageyama was going through, or maybe just smack his thick skull on the gym floor so everything could finally be silent. 

He barely remembered Tanaka punching them both in the face to break them up, but his jaw hurt twice as bad after.

Miwa cleaned and bandaged his face when he got home and they both pretended he wasn’t crying all over her. Everything ached and he felt nauseous and lonely. Whether those were his own genuine feelings or feedback from Shouyou hardly mattered. He crawled into bed and listened to Hinata’s stuttered breath until one or both of them drifted off.

* * *

They stopped talking. 

It was odd, but not unlivable. 

At practices they were each working on separate skills so it didn’t draw any extra attention that Kageyama had Yachi toss to him over and over while Shouyou stayed on the other side of the net. If anyone on the team was worried about the two’s dynamic, they said nothing, but to be fair everyone seemed a little preoccupied with their own worries.

Tobio knew Hinata was getting extra training outside of school; could feel the sting in his calves and palms after the shorter boy doubled up his practice time each night. He was curious and wanted to ask his soulmate about it; wanted to know if it had anything to do with coach making him learn drop sets. But they had stopped talking and so he just had to learn what he could from Shouyou’s projections. The setter had expected Hinata’s feedback to grow quieter the more time they spent avoiding each other, but echoes of the ginger’s thoughts and feelings still reached him.

He was tired.

He was determined.

He missed Kageyama.

* * *

The bus ride to the next training camp was filled with more American pop from Radio Hinata. Kageyama had chosen a seat as far away from the decoy as he was able and still the shorter boy's enthusiasm swirled all around him like a too tight hug.

It was still unclear to the general public if Sensational Projections were affected by physical distance, but Tobio was sure he’d be able to hear Shouyou from across the continent. The fact that he saw the boy in close proximity every day did seem to make certain sensations easier to pick up on though. When he had been younger, Tobio had snuck into his middle school library and read a few books on the matter, but they’d been a bit beyond his reading comprehension skills at that point and of course had no scientific basis. Now he figured he could just learn with hands-on experience. 

It still struck the teen as insane that a phenomenon he had been experiencing over half of his life was considered by most to be only a ‘theory’; something not officially proven. Plenty of people didn’t even believe in SenPro and yet here was Kageyama listening to Shouyou sing ‘Payphone’ in his mind on a dark bus driving through the middle of the night. And when the ginger slipped into sleep and began to dream, Kageyama saw the images flash before his eyes like a movie until he too was dragged down into them. 

* * *

Kageyama’s first attempt at the new attack fell short and he flushed as he felt Hinata’s confusion rush through him. Even after not talking for two weeks, the decoy trusted Kageyama to get the ball to the right place and he hadn’t. The next go was out too far and even though Hinata saved it, the two shared a look that didn’t require SenPro to read.

 _You’re different than before_.

The team was all over the place and their new techniques weren’t playing together well. The loss and the uphill dash that followed were expected, but still disheartening, and Kageyama stuck close to Hinata’s side as they ran. The ginger wasn’t angry, but he was still not sure what was happening with the taller teen and didn’t know how to approach him about it. Tobio could sympathize.

More games and more losses and more sprints didn’t help to bridge the gap between them at all, but the sweet tang of watermelon on Hinata’s tongue comforted Kageyama through the silence that stretched on and on. The team was super motivated to continue the camp, but there were still holes in their teamwork and it was clear they were already tired of losing. The continued practice at day’s end brought just as many groans as it did fist pumps and on and on it went.

It had been three weeks since his fight with Shouyou, three weeks since they had spoken a word to each other, and Tobio still got the redhead’s feedback as loud as ever.

He was still tired.

He was still determined.

He still missed Kageyama.

They went back to practicing together and slowly they all made progress, but their attacks still weren’t connecting during the quick even three days into the camp. The teen could feel the dissatisfaction fizzing in Hinata’s gut each game, agitation making his skin crawl and itch. He wanted to ease that feeling for his soulmate, wanted to push the slowly forming self-hatred away, but he couldn’t. Had never been able to.

Their tiny spat during a game and the subsequent decision to quit practicing together were both tough on Kageyama, but he refused to back down. Shouyou seemed to respond well to this stubbornness and though their first conversation in weeks was soaked in hostility, he could feel the ginger’s mood brighten just slightly as he went off to practice with the boys from Nekoma. Perhaps one of those setters could give him what he wanted.

The next night coach told him to imagine the bottle as the spiker and all Tobio could see was Hinata’s face.

* * *

The end of the camp was a barbecue that Tobio got to enjoy twice as much through Hinata’s projections. The tiny spiker absolutely adored meat and his joy at the meal seeped into Kageyama’s bones and it finally felt like they were on the mend. They had finally managed the quick attack during their very last game with Fukurodani and it was as if Shouyou’s enthusiasm had infected the entire team as he had turned to Tobio and called him amazing.

There was a warmth within that interaction that made Kageyama feel like his whole body was glowing. He could feel it then, the affection that had started to grow just beneath his ribcage for the ginger returned in full. He wanted to tell him the truth, he wanted Shouyou to know they were soulmates. He wanted to take him on dates and hold him close and all that other gross junk Noya and Tanaka talked about on occasion. But how to get them there?

He could just ask (" _obviously_ ", he pictured Tsukishima grumbling), but it felt wrong to pursue Shouyou without telling him about the SenPro. Tobio wanted things to develop between them without all those extra complications. Plus there was still a lot more volleyball to be played that year, so perhaps it wasn’t the best time to start letting what his sister would call a Dramatic Teen Romance unfurl. Kageyama Tobio knew Hinata Shouyou enough to know the teen would not appreciate the distraction.

Still, the setter was determined to be a little bit bolder; to test the waters more deeply than he had ever dared. He made a point of beginning to praise Hinata more, and to acknowledge the spiker’s praise in return. He would drop him snacks without any made up excuse and ask about his day in rough, stunted sentences that Shouyou would giggle childishly at before answering. They talked about his mom and his little sister and volleyball of course. The ginger seemed to preen and glow under the attention, but honestly the boy was pretty excitable all around.

It probably didn’t mean anything.

* * *

Kageyama woke up one night back home to a hand on his dick.

It was about two in the morning and he could feel the phantom fingers ghosting up his shaft as Hinata got comfortable in his own bed miles away. The boy was stroking himself briskly, his mind foggy with sleep and desire. Tobio felt his face flush red with blood as he jerkily moved to join. He got hardly even a moment of sweet bliss before Hinata was spilling over his own hand and Tobio was following after, swept up in the wake of his soulmate’s pleasure. The setter barely had time to acknowledge what had happened before they were both drifting back to sleep.

Facing Hinata at school the next day was awkward. Aside from the ever present sadness, everything else he'd felt from Hinata thus far had been pretty public. Things he didn't think Hinata would mind sharing; Hinata sang in front of everyone, he crowed about pork in front of everyone. What he didn’t do was whip out his dick and invite the entire team to watch him jerk off. Not that Kageyama would be terribly opposed at this point. 

Classes and practice were an exercise in remaining characteristically stoic. Tobio was positive the right thing to do was just act like it never happened and push off telling Shouyou the truth until enough time had passed that it wouldn’t be an awkward elephant in the room when the news finally did drop.

* * *

Kageyama woke up two more times to Shouyou pleasuring himself before he started to consider how...efficient Hinata was. He obviously didn’t do it often, Tobio would know, but when he did, the ginger was practiced and skillful. He’d get himself right to the point with very little fanfare and Kageyama would be left panting and sweating in the wake of it as his soulmate drifted into a satiated sleep once more. The setter honestly felt very little need to ever get himself off after a while because Shouyou was just so good at it.  Besides, Kageyama wasn’t the world’s most imaginative masturbator. For him it had always been more like self maintenance; scratching an itch so that you could remain comfortable and unbothered. A time to release unspent energy. As he got older though he found that occasionally he did like to take his time with it. He enjoyed the feeling of his own fingertips on his neck and stomach, or trailing his nails over his abs and down the cuts of his obliques. He liked to tug on his own nipples and cradle his balls and switch up the grip on his dick from flexing tight to thumb-and-forefinger loose. 

It was still kind of embarrassing though.

Tobio wasn’t sexually experienced at all and so could only guess at what other people, specifically Hinata, would enjoy in bed. He figured together the two of them could probably suss out something pretty enjoyable for everyone, but just the thought of it left him feeling hot and itchy all over. Kageyama wasn’t even sure he would ever muster up the courage to ask Shouyou out, let alone try to get him into bed. That was a thought for a Tobio far, far in the future.  He continued avoiding the topic around the redhead and only dared to make _one_ comment _one_ time about the shorter boy looking more refreshed than usual. Hinata just blinked at him, cinnamon eyes wide and confused as a flurry of early morning nonsense swam through his mind. He’d barely heard Tobio and the blue eyed teen refused to repeat himself because what the hell had he even been thinking? He had harrowing flashbacks to puberty and the horrifying changes his body seemed to go through almost overnight. This thing with Shouyou felt a little bit like that, startling and revolutionary. Not because a hand on his dick was anything special, but because of how comfortable it was. How quickly Kageyama wanted to fall into it.

* * *

By the time the tournament rolled around they were back to their same old selves, but with improvements throughout and Hinata was glowing. He was enthusiastic and excited and Tobio wanted to give him “Nice kill!” blowjobs in addition to everything else they weren’t doing. Instead the setter tried to yell at him a little less and praise him a little more and when they won the first match against Ohgi Minami, Tobio rustled Shouyou’s hair. It was the tiniest of baby steps, but when the redhead only giggled rather than pulling away, it felt like they were getting somewhere. 

Kageyama would never put anything before volleyball, not even Hinata. It just so happened that the two things overlapped. So when he asked Sawamura if they could try the new quick attack against Kohakawa High, he staunchly told himself it was because he was feeling good,  _ not  _ because he liked the way he felt excitement and admiration shoot through Shouyou’s entire body.

* * *

It was very obvious that Shouyou was never trying to project to Tobio on purpose, and yet still it felt like his control started to slip when he got tired. There were matches where the redhead was running all over the court and giving the setter something to work for that left them both exhausted. Sweat sliding down his neck and back Kageyama was always a little shocked how nice it felt to feel the echoes of Hinata stripping out of his uniform and getting himself sorted out post-game. The shorter teen was no paragon of self-care or even hygiene, but Tobio appreciated the way Shouyou would stretch his aching muscles and gently massage the tension out of both of their shoulders.

Tobio wasn’t very meticulous with post-game care despite Suga and Asahi regularly waxing poetic about the benefits of a salt bath and boba after a grueling set. The former King of the Court respected the little routines Shouyou kept though. He liked that his calves weren’t constantly aching at night anymore since Hinata had started rubbing down after practice. He appreciated the lack of an extra sting in his palms since Shouyou was always quick to hold his cool water bottle after a particularly nasty spike. Tobio wondered, if the redhead received his projections, would Shouyou be after him to take better care of his own aches and pains, if he would treat his battered skin like something precious. 

For all the time they spent together in person, Kageyama was still quite fond of the sensory postcards he got from his soulmate. It continued at a pretty consistent rate every single day and the setter had grown to enjoy the daily burst of energy as soon as Hinata woke up. He looked forward to the way his mouth watered as the redhead smelled breakfast cooking from down the hall. He liked Hinata’s morning bike rides to school and the extra pep he put into his step when he began to approach the gym. 

Most of all he looked forward to the warm feeling that spilled over his chest as soon as Shouyou saw him every day. Tobio couldn’t tell who it was coming from anymore, but he enjoyed it all the same and tried to fan the flames of that feeling throughout the day until it was time to say goodbye. That was Kageyama’s least favorite part of every day; the iciness that would envelope Shouyou as soon as he rounded their last corner and started to head home. By the time the shorter boy was back in his room, all the warmth would be gone from them both and Tobio would rack his brain for what he could do to keep Hinata happier just a little bit longer.


	4. Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When did all our problems get so small?  
> We break up with lovers and friends  
> Make love to the rumours instead  
> Maybe we're addicted to it all  
> The drama is dangerous  
> But it's so exciting to us"  
> -Drama, AJR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major jerk alert, I added some stuff to last chapter. nothing story altering but just more fluff and detail cause I wasn't happy with certain spots.

Hinata Shouyou had grown up thinking he had super powers. How could he not? It was painfully obvious as far back as he could remember that he was controlling people with his mind. Whenever he wanted a cookie, mom was in the mood to bake some. Whenever he got mad at a classmate, the teacher was there to scold them. Whenever he got upset or scared, everyone around him would start crying immediately. It was a super power.

Except it really, really wasn’t.

He could still remember the day it had finally clicked for his mother and she had stared at him like he was some sort of monster. Shouyou had been tantruming on the ground, shocked and appalled that he wanted some ice cream and his mom wasn’t already rushing to get some. Natsu was absolutely wailing in her crib and the redhead woman had looked ready to crack a plate over both their heads when she just stopped and looked at her son there on the floor.

Through the wall they could hear the neighbors getting into a nasty fight and that was when she called Haruichi sensei. 

Hinata didn’t like the barrel chested man. He hemmed and hawed and smelled entirely too much like cigarettes whenever he leaned into Shouyou’s personal space. He had a wide set face with tiny eyes and a long frowning mouth. He’d taken three steps into their house and immediately hummed with displeasure.

“That boy,” he’d pointed between Shouyou’s eyes, “Has a loud spirit. He is projecting to likely every single person on this block with no filter or buffer in between his emotions and theirs.”

His mother had cried and Natsu had cried (because she was still a baby) and Shouyou had just blinked in confusion. Projecting?

Haruichi sensei was probably the least qualified person to explain the idea of what he only sarcastically referred to as soulmates. He made everything sound so clinical and dry, but still managed to assure Hinata that he should be feeling extremely guilty at that moment. He was sharing his emotions with everyone around him and essentially messing with their free will. He was making everyone feel bad.

“He needs a hobby,” the man huffed at last, seeming totally untouched by Shouyou’s mood which had taken a severe dip as the impromptu lesson on Sensational Projections had gone on. “A rigorous, grueling hobby to keep his mind and emotions busy so that he’s not firing off his feelings willy nilly.”

His young mother had prompted, “What would you suggest?”

“Does his school have any sports?”

* * *

Shouyou loved volleyball immediately, thankfully -the thrill of competition, the exhilaration that came with mastering a new technique - but the fact it kept him from sharing every random sensation with his classmates made it even better. If other kids loved volleyball then Shouyou worshipped volleyball. The pure and unfiltered joy he felt whenever he stepped out onto a court, the way he always smelled Air Salonpas; each game felt like he was playing for the first time all over again. He was determined to make volleyball the only thought in his mind, the only thing that held back the sadness.

It never really worked.

* * *

Volleyball didn’t block all of Shouyou’s projections all of the time. It kept his classmates from having to experience every single high and low of the young boy’s day when he was focused on it, but when practice was over and it was just up to Hinata to keep his own feelings in check, things spilled over. A rather smart girl in his sixth grade science class had broken down into hysterical tears during a test and the teacher had shot a furious look at the redhead. Tucked away into his own little corner of the room, Shouyou had been busy trying to make his lack of test prep less obvious and feeling just sick with worry. As the girl continued to bawl, several children in the room had started to look green and to dry heave.

They called his mother to pick him up.

“I don’t understand!” he’d wept into her shoulder that night, whole face hot and shiny with crying. “Why can’t I just be normal?!”

“Shh, Shouyou,” she’d tried to comfort, her own voice wobbly as she hugged her eldest child tightly to her chest, “You’ll make your sister cry.”

* * *

As the years went by he got better at keeping his sensations to himself and focusing fully on volleyball or other distractions. During the days he sang benign songs to himself on and off to keep his most precious thoughts private from others. He threw his all into every practice and ran his body to exhaustion so that he could drop off the face of the earth as soon as his head hit a pillow. He didn’t think he could project while he was sleeping.

It made him sad.

Of course it did.

While every other normal person only projected to their soulmate, Shouyou projected to any stranger on the street if he wasn’t careful. Haruichi had implied it’d be almost impossible for him to find his soulmate because everyone he came across would think he was their one-and-only since they would start receiving his projections as soon as they walked into his proximity. The stuffy specialist had basically told him to give up all hope one finding anyone who could love him genuinely since his ‘loud spirit’ would merely trick others into thinking they loved him.

“Impossible,” he’d grouched during one of their sessions, “You’d have to let loose control of yourself to even have a prayer of reaching your soulmate and then every person within a mile of you would think you were projecting to  _ them _ . You’ve got to keep a cap on it.”

Shouyou cried himself sick that night and his mother wouldn’t help clean up Natsu’s soiled sheets.

* * *

Joining the Karasuno volleyball club was the best thing that had happened to Shouyou in a long time and he worked extra hard to not accidentally project onto any of his beloved teammates. He’d hoped, stupidly, for longer than he cared to admit that Nishinoya Yu would somehow be able to receive his projections even as he fought valiantly everyday to keep them locked away. But Noya was in a projection loop with Tanaka and the two got to feel safe and comfortable in knowing that their intended life partner was tuned into their inner workings without any others butting in unexpectedly. 

Suga and Asahi projected to each other too, Shouyou was pretty sure, and Daichi had Michimiya. There hadn’t been any looping pairs in Hinata’s middle school and it was a little odd to know there were others so close to him that had managed to master this whole soulmate thing with seemingly no effort. Of course he was happy for all his senpai that had found their other halves, but it made him sad to think about how while others would pair off relatively young and have a whole life to live with their soulmate, Shouyou may never find his.

Volleyball made him so happy, but he still cried himself to sleep most nights.

* * *

Kageyama Tobio was one of the only things besides volleyball that could brighten Hinata’s mood immediately and he wasn’t even a thing, he was a person. A stoic, infuriating, talented person that Shouyou was proud to call his setter even when the taller teen drove him absolutely crazy. Their relationship on the court was like one of those old lava lamps; dangerously hot, but also beautiful and transfixing. And if it grew cold then everything inside turned to ugly clumps of nothing. 

Hinata hated fighting with Tobio, but he hated it more when the blue eyed boy doubted him or kept him out of the loop of his thoughts. Shouyou couldn’t count the number of times he had crazily wished Kageyama was his soulmate if only he could get a glimpse of what was going through that incredibly thick skull of his. Still, he felt absolutely awful on the day Tobio started humming a song he had had stuck in his head all morning and swore to himself he would never let himself slip and force his mind onto the other boy again. The two of them bickered and circled and Shouyou wondered if maybe they were dancing secretly. 

Did Tobio like him?

Did Tobio hate him?

He couldn’t really tell.

He just wanted the boy to keep setting to him.

Time passed and they had their disagreements here and there, one fight even coming to blows, but for the most part Shouyou thought that maybe Kageyama had grown to at least tolerate him. He gave him extra pork buns and brought him caramel lattes that were blessedly free of cinnamon. If Hinata had started feeling warm and light whenever he saw the setter, well then that was his own business and luckily no one else was feeling it. 

* * *

There was a day in the middle of the tournament, part way through the semi-finals, where Shouyou could just not stop thinking about mango Calpico and Kageyama conveniently offered to get some at one of the vending machines and share. The red head accepted the offer with a large twinge of guilt, hating that he had projected onto the setter but relieved no one else had picked up on the craving. When the dark haired teen returned they passed the tall bottle back and forth between them, talking very little. Their match against Aoba Johsai was approaching and Hinata could tell the other boy was nervous to compete against the Great King even if he wouldn’t elaborate on what nervousness looked like for him. Shouyou found the whole thing a bit odd and endearing because Tobio was usually so arrogant and pigheaded. It was a pleasant change to see him biting his nails like the rest of them for once. 

He continued passing the bottle back and forth with him until it was empty and their spit mingled on the nozzle. Hinata liked to think an odd form of camaraderie had formed between him and his teammate, but some days it was hard to tell if it was a genuine connection or his own loud spirit causing trouble. Kageyama just seemed to understand him more than he had before and Shouyou wanted to say he had a pretty good read on the taller teen too. It felt like they were communicating constantly, even when they weren’t speaking and Shouyou wanted that to mean something but he couldn’t be sure. He wanted more than anything for Tobio to feel a true kindredness with him, he didn’t want to force him to feel it. He wanted the gifts and the compliments and the touches to mean something.

Shouyou was positive that his mismatched feelings for Kageyama were written all over his face some days. He was sure the other boy heard his inner desires and just chose to ignore them. Then there were days when Tobio brought him pork buns and caramel lattes and ruffled his hair after a good kill. The setter was always just hovering there right in Hinata’s peripherals, but never really approaching unless he wanted to yell at him or shove some little thing he’d been thinking about all day into his hands and it was  _ confusing _ . Hinata was jerking off to thoughts of the other boy twice a week and still he didn’t know where he stood. It felt like their relationship, whatever type of relationship it was, was happening on several separate timelines and the two true Shouyou and Tobio kept missing each other. Shouyou was eager for the day when it all finally fell into place even if it didn’t exactly fall where he wanted. Still, it  _ had  _ to be happening soon.

* * *

They won the match against the Great King and Hinata felt like his heart would burst straight out of his chest. He felt like he could fly above the gym and beyond with all the energy coursing through him and his first instinct was to throw himself onto his teammates. In a giant dogpile they all hugged and laughed and maybe even cried in some cases, and Shouyou could feel the way the tips of his fingers danced along Kageyama’s forearm. Always keeping him in reach but never embracing him fully; not yet. The bus ride back to school was an exercise in self control and the redhead couldn’t remember the last time he had focused so hard on not projecting to everyone around him. He didn’t think Tsukishima would appreciate being overcome by a fit of excited giggles and he just knew Asahi would be embarrassed if he swept Kageyama into a passionate kiss. 

No, he had to keep his emotions all bottled up to himself for now. Still, he allowed himself to wiggle and dance some of his good mood out and Tobio didn’t even comment on the way their shoulders kept bumping all the way back to Karasuno. Their classmates congratulating them upon their arrival was almost enough to make the floodgates open, but Shouyou managed to contain himself. Coach’s talk about Seijoh, pessimistic though it was, did nothing to dampen his mood and by the time the rest of the team was heading home, Shouyou knew he had to work off more energy or else he’d get home and probably make Natsu go on an excited rampage all through the house.

“Kageyama!” he called before the blue eyed boy could leave, “Throw me some tosses?”

He agreed and Yachi did too and they were a well oiled machine tossing the ball, setting it, and spiking it cleanly over the net. It was perfect and Kageyama was perfect and Shouyou wanted to kiss him. Then Yachi was talking about fights and passion and appreciation and Shouyou maybe wanted to kiss her a little too. In a friendly way! Shimuzu eventually convinced them all to head home and get some rest before the finals and Kageyama began walking Shouyou out like he always did. They agreed they would win the match the next day and then walked in companionable silence until they reached their corner.  This was the spiker’s least favorite part of the day; the iciness that would start to creep into his chest as soon as Tobio was out of sight. By the time he got home he probably wouldn’t even have to worry about exciting Natsu because all the warm, happy feelings would be gone. He hated it. 

“I wonder what my mom made tonight,” he mused as a way to stall the inevitable. Kageywama was watching him closely like always. “I already called ahead and told her we made the finals, and she always makes a cool dessert to celebrate!”

“Probably daifuku again,” the other teen noted absently, glancing up the street as Shouyou froze. “She made it last time and you really...liked it.”

By the end of his statement Tobio seemed to realize his great error and the two players just stared wide-eyed at each other while Shouyou tried to get a lid on his panic. “I...I never told you she made daifuku,” he noted in a whisper, knuckles white around his bike’s handlebars. “How...did you know that?”

He’d wanted this, he’d wanted Kageyama to get his projections, but now it felt like an entire nightmare unfolding right before his ginger eyes. To project to him in weak moments in close proximity was one thing, but for Tobio to be able to taste his dessert all the way from his house was another. The taller boy glanced at him, head dipped low like some kind of kicked puppy dog and shrugged.

“I tasted it,” he muttered to his sneakers. The bottom fell out of Shouyou’s stomach. “You projected it to me.”

“Oh no…”

“We’ve been looping,” Kageyama said and Hinata’s bike slipped from his grasp, clattering loudly on the concrete and no doubt scratching the paint. He felt like he was going to be sick.

“W-Why didn’t you say anything!?” he snapped, hot embarrassment pooling all the way up from his toes. “Y-You just said we’ve  _ been  _ looping, like...like this has been going on a while!”

The black haired boy looked simultaneously irate at being yelled at, but chagrined for keeping the secret. Shouyou was shaking. “I didn’t want to freak you out and...mess this up.”

“ _ This _ ?!” Shouyou hissed, angry, angry,  _ furious  _ with himself all of a sudden and with his teammate too. “What even  _ is  _ this!?”

“I thought you liked me!” Kageyama snapped icily, making the shorter player flinch back. He could hear in the other boy’s tone that he had wanted to tack on  _ ‘idiot _ !’ to the end of his statement but refrained. “And I...I maybe was starting to like you too.”

“ _ Maybe _ !?”

“I do!”

Shouyou felt his stomach flip and watched in horrid fascination as Kageyama gagged. The taste of bile was acidic in his mouth and he watched the other teen choke back the urge to gag. He hated this, he hated every moment of it, but he couldn’t reign in his emotions and protect Tobio from them. The setter heaved again and Hinata snapped out of it. Across the street there was a man walking his dog, retching into a bush.

"I can't believe this," the ginger gasped, moving to yank his bike off the ground, ready to make a wobbly escape. “I can’t believe you!”

Just before he took off running, he looked back at Kageyama one more time, and could tell exactly when the overwhelming heartache and sadness struck the other teen square in the chest. He leaned down like he meant to sit right there in the center of the sidewalk and Shouyou had to look away. Guilt and rage and devastation were wreaking havoc all through his body and he didn’t want to be around Tobio when those emotions came to the forefront.

He took off down the sidewalk, his sneakers slap, slap, slapping the pavement and his bike squeaking noisily beside him. One of his spokes was bent and twisted and made the tire wobble as he ran. Everyone he passed immediately either looked sick or depressed and he hated them all. He hated everyone. He hated Kageyama for lying to him and he hated himself for lying to the setter in return. By the time he got home he was sobbing fit to choke a horse and he could already hear Natsu absolutely wailing from the street. He tossed his bike down and slumped onto their front steps, trying and failing to catch his breath for what felt like years. His mother came and wrapped him up tight in a hug but she was shaking with tears herself and Hinata hated himself even more.


End file.
